


You feel nothing when you lose everything

by mabulatious



Category: Naruto
Genre: Aftermath, M/M, No Sex, One Shot, just foreplay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-16
Updated: 2012-06-16
Packaged: 2017-11-07 21:25:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/435608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mabulatious/pseuds/mabulatious
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>And without Naruto, he knew he might as well be dead.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You feel nothing when you lose everything

**Author's Note:**

> Tried present tenses in this and as you know, most people when doing present tenses tend to forget themselves and then, write in past tense accidently (without knowing) and that makes the whole narrative sound awkward and bizarre. I tried my best to read this through, but if you find anything awkward, sorry.

He blinks his eyes open and feels himself free for the first time.

But that is a fleeting image, a wishful thinking that he only entertains for a moment of silence as wind hits at him from all sides. Swirling through his hair and dancing like twisty birds.

Ashes surround him, brushing past him like cherry blossom petals. He ignores them as they fall to the ground softly, some still floating in the air irritatingly and others falling softly upon the ground without any sound except for a small rustle.

He lets out a huff and falls forward, a little weakness in his cracked walls, panting hissed out air as he bends his head. Second ticks by trying to keep his breathing controlled and he looks around, assessing the broken, rugged appearance of the battle area. It's a disastrous rubble that he appraises over with disinterest and more than a little delay. Then, he moves on, his black eyes gazing at the body lying twenty feet from him.

For a moment, he just stares.

The body; Naruto. His chest doesn't heave up and down with a barely drawn need like Sasuke's chest is right now. He watches, daring the chest to move up. Waiting.

It doesn't move.

A whisper of the admittance is thought out and he puts a lid on it to keep his emotions in check.

Then, he carefully pulls the lid off himself. Teasing it. Go on, he tells it. Give me your worst.

There is nothing to check over.

It startles him, shock at his own emotions that he had tried so long to keep closed around him.

This is what he is used to and what keeps him protected from things that terrify him. What he strives for. What he had wanted from the start. He should be proud of himself for overcoming his faulty emotional barrier. He should feel fortunate that he had come out emotionally unmarred after this much anticipated battle. But this is not how it always happens.

No, whenever he fights with Naruto or Itachi – the only two people in this world who had ever made him feel more than small emotions – at the end of the battle, it drains the life out of him. Don't get him wrong. This is as it should be. This is what he wanted and meant to achieve. This is no surprise for him. He had meant to kill Naruto, there was no doubt about it. It wasn't the kill though, that had him wondering.

No.

He should breathe a sigh of relief. But there is no breath leaving him willingly to relax his tense shoulders or his tightened chest.

There is just. No. Feeling.

He realizes the walls are just too tight around him that it has chosen to make him numb to every single emotion. He realizes he doesn't like that. It's suffocating. It's bound too much, wrapped him up like dead being. It's too much. He remembers he swore to himself that he wouldn't let anyone use him. He remembers Naruto shouting while they battled, blood and spit and grit all mixed up to make up a familiar sight.

'He's using you! You're just a puppet to him!'

Sasuke looks down at his hand, there is blood dripping from it. Not his.

It's tingling with his previous attack; his final, catastrophic attack on the person lying there. Just a distant apart. So far away.

He had been looking forward with a dark amusement, a now familiar maliciousness to the result of his newly found technique. He was strong. He had defeated Naruto. He was always able to do that, there was no doubt. But this time, the stupid loser he knew form his childhood was burning with a power that was incomparable to the last time. There was no rage, no swiftness or passion in his gaze as he had looked at Sasuke.

It was too much like a calm storm that Sasuke had been scared for a moment that he might lose. But look! He had won. Even with the nine-tail's power by his side, Sasuke had been victorious after all. His biggest fears hadn't come true. He hadn't lost.

Alas, there was no smugness to be entertained. Not when he knew and could see that Naruto had tired himself out before confronting Sasuke. Not when the moron had been so confident about winning that he had promised Sasuke he would be the first and last one to defeat Sasuke.

There is a yearning in his heart, not new or forgotten at all. It is a yearning that's always been there since he met the blue-eyed boy. A slight longing that progressed with every passing day, not at all leaving even from their separation; his departure. It was this feeling that had scared him into running away. A feeling that numbed his jealousy, his anger, and his hatred, making them only an aching sensation in the back of his head.

It was a feeling that was now lost somewhere and dimmed to an almost dull shade— hidden under the darkness that had overcome him after the knowledge of his brother's apparent innocence and the manipulation of Konoha's leaders. Resentment was never a pretty emotion on Sasuke and when it did come, it was always out of his control. It was just like jealousy or desperation or panic or anger.

They came and went, having no consideration to his person. He was just a vessel for all these emotions to take place in. They are like migrating birds, but instead of leaving, they stay and curl into him with talons too deep. They are always there. But something in him is shaken so badly at the sight of his friend's unmoving body, that they fly away for the moment.

He wants to curse Naruto for doing that.

He had been dwelling fine with the weight of all that he is and all that he has become. As long as Darkness remained, his other petty emotions stayed clear. He's a black paint spread out all over, he knows.

For god's sake, that's what he had wanted!

He's dead, Sasuke. The voice that sounded much like his brother says, soft and monotone.

He stands, stumbling fast to the figure so far away and reaches only to stop there and watch with careful and wary eyes.

He's dead. His own voice repeats dully, telling him to forget hope, telling him to go back and away and leave.

A dazed flash of red passes over his eyes before his feet bent over and he falls on his knees. He stares immobile at his friend, eyes suddenly wide open. Feel! He tells himself, a panic seizing his heart so suddenly and so severely that he almost falls completely over Naruto.

FEEL, GODDAMMIT! He demands the things that had always been there; a sort-of nagging reminder to his humanity. The things that he had banished completely from himself in the long run. The things that he wanted now more than ever.

He grits his teeth so hard, it hurts. But he can't seem to let go. He's shaking just with the force of his new-found desire to let it all out.

Just like Naruto's nine-tailed demon, he also has a thing caged beneath. It's locked up, an unwanted presence all its life. So unwanted that now, it's just a dead little thing lying in a corner, cowering from the dark that's surrounded it. But at the call of its owner, the shiny little thing startles and understands all too abruptly.

Then, these wretched emotions— wretched, wretched little things – when they return, they return with a vehemence, heated, rushing up against his whole being full-force like they've been waiting all their life for this opportunity. And now, they would take full advantage.

His whole body witnesses their vengeful return with an intensity that really shouldn't have been this surprising, but he still chokes out a strangled gasp. He had known that keeping a lid on his emotions might have been a bad idea, but he didn't know how much. It was like the earth beneath him was quaking under him, his eyes blinded in agony as tears ripped out of him like streaming water. It hit him so hard that he was sobbing without thinking about it, without becoming conscious of it. He was sniveling; like a child once again with loud breaths and wet cheeks. The face of his dead friend- though blurred by the tears- afflicted him more than once before and moans of distress whip out of him as he tries to desperately think of anything but he's dead he's dead he's dead he's dead he's dead he's dead

His mouth falls open as he lifts his head to stare at the sky and the sight of it, the nostalgia of the familiar scene is unbearable. It isn't familiar. Not anymore. Naruto's dead this time. He had made sure of that. He had known that. He hadn't even hesitated.

Nothing was alright. Nothing was good enough anymore. Emotions didn't matter anymore. All of it is gone. The despondency he experiences is small, but the rather rapid thoughts are what causes him to lose it.

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!" A scream cuts through him, a cry of despair called from the very depths of his heart. A heart he didn't even know existed.

Tears continue to fall down his cheek. He breaths a sigh of relief, only it doesn't quite come out like that. It's let out, but with a heart-wrenching whimper.

He still has the ability to shed tears. To show emotions. He tries to convince himself that is enough.

'Show who? The sky? The Gods can't help you now, Sasuke. He's dead.' reminded Itachi's voice logically and with a disappointment that ached. 'Our last hope is gone. It's all over now.'

The realization that what was said is true in anyway makes Sasuke's face scrunch up, a tight feeling in his throat.

"No." He whispers audibly, coherent all of a sudden again of his ability to talk. He waits a bit to steady his haywire nerves, breathing in a long breath and calms himself enough to touch the side of Naruto's neck without tremulously losing it again.

"Please." He mouths as he feel for the pulse.

'He can never die.' He says to himself, feeling so afraid, trying not to press too hard. His fingers tremble. His heart's in his throat.

'He's going to be the Hokage. He's going to live long and have lots of kids. He will be lively all his life and even as an old fart, he'll smile like the goofy clown he is. He'll smile, because he's Naruto. He will be the radiant hero of Konoha. He will shine. People will love him. And I...

I'll be his and Konoha's mortal enemy for as long as I live.'

He blinks, looking down at the blond. Sasuke truly believes his mind is playing tricks with him. He steels his mind from petty illusions and feels for the pulse again. This time, the flutter of skin on his hand is more obvious. He side-eyes Naruto's unconscious form for a moment and closes his eyes.

Tired and filled with imponderable relief, he extricates his hand back, but a hand -not mine- grabs his. He stays still, surprise catching his breath for a minute, but soon recovered.

'I've been caught then.' He thinks, resigned to whatever could come next and then, he can't think much any more. The yearning to look is too much.

He turns to face Naruto, telling himself that it's to assure himself, but that's not true.

Naruto's blue eyes are half-lidded with fatigue yet undeniably keen on watching him, searching him for answers, but not asking any questions. There are always questions on the tip of Sasuke's tongue and replies on the tip of Naruto's. But today, they are not asking or answering. Today, they are just looking.

Another of Naruto's hand reaches up and catches Sasuke's cheek as Sasuke surpasses the urge to flinch, staring impassively down at the blond. A thumb caresses the wet line down his face and there is a puzzled look on Naruto's face. His eyes are so warm that Sasuke could just watch him helplessly, not even thinking of denying his moment of weakness.

Stupid moron. He feels a flash of annoyance at his stupid show of emotion. Yes, it had scared him that the moron wasn't responding like normally. And yes, his immunity to feeling anything at that time had scared him most.

But still, it was stupid of him to assume Naruto dead just like that. Maybe, then, Sasuke wouldn't have to be burdened with this new revelation.

The revelation that he didn't want to be just a vessel. He wanted his revenge to have passion. To have something to urge him on so, he could fight with all his power to crush those who had made Itachi suffer so. A dead creature was no use to anyone. And without Naruto, he knew he might as well be dead.

That should be something to startle him out of Naruto's painfully gentle grasp. But he didn't want to. For this moment only, he just wants to stare at him with all his heart.

The fool's ruined him.

Naruto lifts his lips up into a smile as if he could read his mind and it would have been irritating any other day, but right now, Sasuke feels dreadfully worried. No, Naruto isn't okay. He may not be dead, but that smile was less radiant than all his others. And for Sasuke, he always gave his most radiant smile. He remembers the same smile on his brother's lips just before he died and grips Naruto's hand tightly on his. Looking startled, Naruto looks at Sasuke with wide, questioning eyes.

"Don't leave." says someone. Sasuke is as surprised as Naruto that he is the one who says it. He pinches his lips down and accepts the inevitable. His chest is burning with the words he wants to say and he can't just ignore them when they're jumping out of him uncontrollably. So, he leans a bit closer to Naruto with eyes of a drowning man- showing all the sadness and desperation still left in him. "Don't you die on me, you idiot."

Naruto huffs a laugh at him, his grin widening at the edges. His eyes crinkle happily. "Only if you return with me." He says in a raspy voice.

Sasuke makes a pained face and tries to pull away when Naruto leaps up abruptly. He holds the back of Sasuke's neck, colliding their foreheads together so hard that Sasuke recoils at the impact. But Naruto's hand on his head keeps him from going anywhere. not that he'd been trying anyway. They stare down into each other's eyes for a long time.

"I won." Sasuke says after a moment.

"But you didn't kill me." Naruto says simply.

'So you didn't win, exactly.' was left unsaid.

"I intended to." He reminds Naruto with a hard edge to his voice.

"I know." a light tone, like any moment they could make a joke out of it.

"I would have killed you. You might even die any moment now." For god's sake, he had ripped Naruto's insides apart to shreds. He had felt it, the blood, the bones and the squishy organs- it makes him sick to his stomach. He struggles to back away again, but Naruto holds onto him with such a hard grip that Sasuke's surprised he has such strength even now.

"Kyuubi's healing me."

"I thought I trapped that stupid thing."

"It got away. Just barely in time. That was a close call."

"Shut. Up."

"I didn't say anything."

Sasuke's lips quiver as he notices that his head was actually lying on Naruto's shoulder. How it got there, he really didn't want to know. He'll just assume it was Naruto who made him do it.

"You are a stupid son of a bitch."

"That's what they all say." chuckles Naruto.

"Stupid stupid stupid—"

"I get it, Sasuke."

"No, you don't!" He pulls himself away from Naruto's hands and his eyes and his warm voice rumbling over Sasuke like- like, something too much. He roughly shoves at Naruto's chest, but the moron sticks like a rock. That was a weak shove anyway. Why was that a weak shove? Why is it so hard right now to move away and put distance between them?

Sasuke feels like crying again, frustration wavering against longing. He looks to Naruto's eyes and suddenly, they're not warm any longer. They're cold, glass shards. Sasuke feels a satisfaction at that, but it falters in an all-too telling fashion.

"Yes, I do. You tried to kill me and you would have accomplished that, had Kyuubi not intervened." Naruto says in a hard, distant tone. Sasuke glares at him, but then, Naruto's eyes soften again. "You are Sasuke, though. So, you can't let go of me. It wouldn't be the same. Just like Konoha hasn't been the same without you."

Sasuke forces his lips into a sneer, but Naruto's hand return to his cheek and this time, he does flinch. This time, Naruto doesn't push himself into Sasuke's space. This time, he leads Sasuke's head close to his and brings his other hand to cover Sasuke's other cheek.

The look Naruto gives him then, is too painful to look at so, he closes his eyes and turns his head away. The hand on his cheek tilts his head a little and he knows it's coming before he even admits it to himself properly. A pair of lips touch his chin, cold and chapped.

"Nothing's changed." Sasuke grits out, feeling confused and angry. He still wants revenge. He still hates Konoha for what they did. He still wants nothing to do with people anymore.

"Everything's changed." chides Naruto, nipping at Sasuke's skin one time before leaning away again.

'What was that?'

He opens his eyes to give Naruto an annoyed glare, not understanding this creature for even a moment. Naruto's smile this time was lacking in fatigue and blood. This time, it was wholly warm with a touch of amusement on the side. Sasuke doesn't like the look at all though some part of him is glad he's healing fine. He scowls and gets up. Naruto follows suit. Sasuke vehemently promises himself never to do something so embarrassing again and walks off, furious.

A hand catches his wrist -stubborn little shit- and he shakes it off furiously. 'You don't get to do this. You're just a stupid boy from my childhood who was jealous of me and then, wanted me to be his friend. You're a stupid boy. You're ju—'

He's in the middle of cursing Naruto in his mind and calling him many unhealthy names when Naruto trailing right behind him becomes intolerable. He turns around and glares at his enemy and former-friend. Naruto just looks at him innocently.

'WHAT WAS THAT?'

"That's not how you kiss people." He tells Naruto, who blinks at him idiotically. Daring to look so confused.

'You stupid—'

The annoyance brimming under the surface reaches a level that his nerves fizzle all over with an urge and he gives in to the urge just because he has a reason to. A stupid, bizarre reason, but a reason nonetheless. He grabs the top of Naruto's head and pushes Naruto's lips right to his. They hold still before he lets Naruto go and backs off.

"That's how you do it." He says, feeling a hot color rise to his cheeks.

'What is wrong with me?' he asks himself.

What was so attractive all of a sudden about Naruto? When had he become someone Sasuke wanted to kiss?

He stumbles as he is backing a step and looks at Naruto bring a hand up to touch his lips. He gives Sasuke a quick, inquisitive look and Sasuke realizes the moron probably hadn't been intending on kissing Sasuke. The Moron probably thought that was how you showered affection on someone you considered a friend. Kissing and nipping on his chin- stupid fucking moron.

"I'm going." Sasuke says, lips and throat dry as he goes to turn.

"Oh no, you don't." This time, Naruto's arm go around Sasuke's waist, securing him against his will. The surprise of this move lasts a second before Sasuke opens his mouth to snap a 'let go!' and get his kunai to slice open Naruto's chest again. He isn't able to do the latter however, because before he can get out of Naruto's grip, he feels the displacement to the air around him and sees with enlarged, disbelieving eyes at Naruto's hand-seals.

It's the teleporting jutsu!

Suddenly, he's looking around at a grassy field. So different from the rubble they had been at before. Even though, he feels an indignant anger at Naruto for taking him against his will, he can't help the concern.

"You're supposed to be run out of Chakra." He comments dubiously and as casually as he can. How much power did this moron even have? Though, it's a good thing. This way, he wouldn't die by anyone else no matter how powerful they were. Sasuke grits his teeth at the thought of somebody else hurting Naruto in such a way and feels a tightening to the arm around his waist. He looks down at the offending limb holding him caged and looks up to apprehend Naruto for kidnapping him.

But the look on Naruto's face stops him short. Naruto's red eyes are back again, a look of - what he thinks is- pure fury tightening tan features and before, Sasuke can try to shrug off Naruto's arm and prepare to defend himself, lips catch his in a bruising grip. He falters a step as Naruto's arms unwound from around him and then, he's stumbles until his back hits a tree. He grunts, discomfited. Naruto soon joins him and slams Sasuke's wrists to the tree before clashing their teeths together in a punishing force. He seems angry.

"What?" Sasuke sputters when Naruto pulls away and before his lips are claimed again. Naruto doesn't answer before he's lapping up at Sasuke's lips again. This time, it's a longer kiss. A more drawn-out and less violent one. For one thing, Naruto's lips and tongue are more involved with Sasuke's. Sasuke grunts his displeasure and tries to struggle against the grip around his wrists.

It works for a minute, but Naruto's fighting just as hard and somehow, their hands lace together and clasp into claws as they fight another battle while making out. Both of them are stubbornly fighting against each other's strength, their eyes narrowed at each other.

"Mmmph." Sasuke finds himself making muffled noises against Naruto's mouth, trying to convey the curses that he wants to spew on Naruto right about now.

Naruto pulls away to say. "Sasuke." Sasuke has time to take one deep breath before Naruto's blue eyes go hazy and dazed and he plunges for Sasuke's lips again. And all of Sasuke's issues about being taken control of or being dominated, despite his rage, he unexpectedly complies and lets Naruto back him off into the tree again, just to feel that weight fall on him. And that friction, oh god. He doesn't even mind the rough bark graze against his bare back.

Then, he realizes how compromising this situation actually is from a standing view-point. He stills. Half-naked ninja entwined with a fugitive, kissing on some place who-knew-where?

Naruto stops then, noticing his hesitation. "What?" He asks this time.

Sasuke looks up at him and raises a perfectly elegant brow, despite feeling anything but that. He was dirty, he was burnt in places, aching in other places, and bleeding all over the place. What the fuck is he doing kissing Naruto on some grassy field like a stupid girl? Wasn't this the sort-of thing that happened between a girl and a boy mostly?

Was he gay? Fuck it, he doesn't care about that. The thing that bothered him most was that it's Naruto he is kissing, when moments before he was fighting The Moron in a match to the death.

"What are we doing?" He questions, though somehow he knows the answer.

Naruto shrugged. "You didn't kill me, Sasuke."

Sasuke is getting tired of that by now, but he still says: "I could have."

Naruto smiles, amusement and sadness mixed somewhere between his eyes and his lips. "But you don't want to."

That was the new revelation that Sasuke was still struggling with, but what use was denying it? Yes, he couldn't live without Naruto. Fuck it. He couldn't even execute his revenge properly without that stupid moron.

Most evil, dark fugitives would have killed their friends, lovers and family by now. Sasuke had none of those anymore. (Itachi had done him a favor in that sense).

Except one: his friend.

And yet, it was the one thing he couldn't do. Back then, he thought he had spared Naruto's life because it wasn't worth anything. As long as he broke the bond they had. As long as Naruto understood.

Naruto didn't. He kept chasing. He kept fighting and resisting. Sasuke had thought he might as well have to kill the nuisance (he didn't think about Naruto's name for some time. it helped to think of him as a stranger, a forgotten existence). But never close to doing it. When coldness and determination had made him attack to kill—

"I want to." Sasuke says with a new determination, eyes narrowing, gripping Naruto's shoulders harshly as he looked at his chest. "I just can't kill you."

He looked up to find Naruto giving him a helpless, somber smile. "It's the opposite for me. I don't want to kill you." Sasuke quirks his eyebrows. "But I can."

His last words should have been alarming, but instead, it comforted Sasuke. Naruto wouldn't be the perfect Savior of Konoha if he didn't have enough determination to kill Sasuke, the person intending to crush it.

"I wish it were easy. To do this and never stop." Naruto says with a hint of resignation to his voice. He takes a step back. "I want an answer, Sasuke. Right now. Right here."

Sasuke's eyes soften. Naruto was all grown up now, taking responsibility for all the people in Konoha, who used to look their noses down at him and hated him.

Sasuke looks away. He doesn't know what he had decided until the words came out, unbidden:

"I told you. I can't kill you."

Naruto stayed silent for a long time. "That means, you can't attack Konoha."

Sasuke looked up at him, letting Naruto see what he was willing to sacrifice to not kill Naruto.

"You still want revenge." Naruto said, scowling. "If I bring you there as a fugitive, even if I plead for your case and give you the best situation possible, you will still plan to kill them from the inside."

Surprisingly, Sasuke hadn't thought of that. It brought a smile to his lips. Naruto jerked his arm, making Sasuke look directly at him.

"Tell me if you'll try something or not."

"I don't want to go back."

Naruto's face broke, no determination, no strength to the folds upon his forehead. There was only fragile emotion burning through him.

"THEN, WHAT DO YOU WANT?" He burst out. "HUH?"

Sasuke stands calm and serence at the onslaught, something he hasn't felt in a long time. There was no anger left within him, not at least for Naruto. "If I don't resist, Naruto." He begins, waiting for Naruto to calm down enough to listen. "Then, what am I?"

Tears were falling from Naruto's blue, blue eyes. "You're Sasuke. You're my friend, my childhood aspiration, my snotty team-mate, Sakura's weird crush, Kakashi's special apprentice and Itachi's little brother. You're Uchiha Sasuke and just because of whatever curse Madara thinks Uchihas have, doesn't mean you have to be what you are right now. Itachi chose his own fate, he didn't let it curse him—"

"But he did. He killed everyone he loved dear. My mother. Father. Everyone…" Sasuke says numbly, voice shaking. Tell me something I can believe. "And then, he died." By my hands.

"For good."

Sasuke whips his head around to glare, knowing Naruto hadn't meant it that way, but he likes arguing like this. Likes picking weakness where it so clearly is.

"Was killing my family really for the good? Even my mother or my aunt, who had nothing to do with it?"

Naruto stops, realizing what he must have sounded like and opens and closes his mouth for one gaping moment. Sasuke hides his satisfaction well, showing an enraged outer appearance. He raises a brow as if to say: 'are you giving up on me?'

Naruto shakes his head. "I don't- I don't justify whatever Itachi did. I don't claim to get inside his head and look at what he really thought about it. I don't know if he was hurt by it. All I know about him is that he cared too much for you, that he couldn't kill you."

"He cared for my mother and father too." Sasuke murmurs. "He was well to deep in his own deception to see past anything when it came to the massacre."

"Except you."

"Except me." Sasuke agrees with a nod.

Naruto closes his eyes, hands sliding to push at Sasuke's shoulders as he breathed in the same breath Sasuke did. "Sasuke, I'm so sorry."

They both look at each other. Sasuke gives him a wan smile, averting his eyes to stare at the distance. Branches, leaves…it looked all too familiar. They were near Konoha, he concludes. How predictable of Naruto.

"I think," Sasuke initiates. There is no need to needle for more of him when the boy looked so tired. There seems to be a long day ahead of them by the looks of it. And all Sasuke wants is to rest. Before all this drama starts. He wants just a long rest. Just to hold Naruto and sleep against his warmth. "If I decided I go to Konoha with you. They'll arrest me, keep me in a prison until a trial is started. And that would take a long time, don't you think?"

Naruto opens his mouth to answer and closes it, frowning. "What are you suggesting?"

Sasuke smirks, moving his fingers against Naruto's side seductively. "I think I'll take some rest before I go."

"You can take it there, you know." Naruto says cheekily. "I've heard our prisons are alright compared to others."

"But your guards won't be." Sasuke retorts with a half-roll of his eyes.

"I can be your guard if you want." Naruto suggests with a wicked grin.

Sasuke steps closer to Naruto and kisses the side of his neck. "I think, since you are so powerful and loyal to them, you probably won't stay long. I've heard there's a high demand of power in these times of chaos and disaster."

"Of war, you mean."

Sasuke lips turn down into a grimace. "It doesn't seem like war."

Naruto chuckles in disbelief. "Then, what does it feel like?"

"It feels like same old, same old." Sasuke distracts the thought of blood, fire and screams from his mind to lick the path up the slope of where Naruto's shoulder met his neck. Naruto tilts his head, permitting his ministration as he hmm's.

"Really? Cause' this is very, very new for me." Naruto whispers.

Sasuke bites at the juncture at his neck and pulls his small nails down across Naruto's back.

"Does this feel more like old enough to you?" Sasuke asks and hisses as Naruto pulls his head down and bites him more viciously than Sasuke did.

A growl emits from the blond before hands grope at his bottom and pull his hip to thrust aginst Naruto's. "Oh yes. Now, I remember." He snarls playfully into Sasuke's throat.

Sasuke groans in pleasure, the friction causing his body to seize up before it spasms under Naruto's hot and harsh touches. Naruto's hands scratch all over him, keeping him on his toes as he throws his head back and lets Naruto pull them down on the grassy ground. He closes his eyes as Naruto bites at his neck, here and there, over and over again. Sasuke cries out just in tandem with the bites, arching his back as all of him sizzles under the force of Naruto's thrust against his hips and his heated touches.

"Ah. Ungh. Uhnm." He groans again and again as he bucks up his hips and meets Naruto's hips in sync. "Mmm. Oh god."

"Nmm." Naruto murmurs against his skin, licking at the side of his chin and biting at it and gripping Sasuke's chest. His thumbs flick at Sasuke's nipples and Sasuke thrashes on the ground, forgetting himself completely. A mouth sucks down on one of his nipple and he holds Naruto's head in his grip as he moves restlessly into the pleasurable experience.

"Ah!" He cries when Naruto's hands go down to his rear, lifting his bottom up and boring down on them forcibly. It feels good, oh god. He knows it is terribly shameless of him, but he wantonly thrusts against Naruto's abdomen as the blond uses his mouth to suck at Sasuke's nipples and presses down on Sasuke's rear in a rhythmic pattern. "Oh- AH." He gasps, panting harshly, eyes popped open and rolled over his head at the pleasure that's accumulating in his groin.

He curses in his head repeatedly, praying to god nobody but Naruto is watching. God, they're right here in the open for all the world to see. He should have demanded Naruto to move them somewhere more private, but the pleasure had taken him unawares and he didn't want to be separated from that right now.

He didn't even know if he ever could anyway. The pleasure built up in his cock, making him harder when Naruto's mouth went a little lower and then, he ground his legs against Naruto's shoulder, tensing.

"Hmm?" Naruto asks, looking up at Sasuke from his teasing ministrations on Sasuke's navel. Sasuke glares. "What? You're not feeling good, Sasuke?"

Sasuke's eyes narrow. "Who are you? And what have you done with The Moron?"

Naruto blinks. "Um. Is The Moron me, by any chance?"

Sasuke sneers in answer.

"Okay. Um." Naruto looks a little baffled and dazed, his cheeks flushed. "Um, I think I'm me. You know, Naruto Uzumaki and all that."

"Naruto." Sasuke begins as patiently as possible and with as much dignity with his ass kind-of up in the air with The Moron's hands on them. "You were in love with Sakura, remember?"

Naruto squints a little and scrunches his nose. "Didn't think you actually noticed that."

"Anyone with eyes and ears noticed it." Sasuke said matter-of-factly.

"Um. It was a childhood crush?"

"Try again."

"I've gotten over her?"

Sasuke only raised a brow this time.

Naruto sighs, putting Sasuke back down and pulling away a little. He looks a little bummed actually as he says: "Well, I don't think she really is ever going to, you know, like me that way."

Sasuke's eyebrows dip forward. "Why not?"

"Uh, cause' she's been in love with you for all eternity maybe?"

Sasuke looked at him in disbelief. "I didn't think she'd actually still..." he pauses a minute when Naruto raises questioning brows. "like me after what I did."

Naruto's shoulders shake as he tries to hold back, but when Sasuke rolls his eyes and looks away, he lets out unrestrained, unadulterated, hysterical laughter. He falls on his side, arms at his side as he laughs and laughs.

"Oh god." Naruto says, still shaking, a wide smile on his face. "You really are a jerk, aren't you?"

"Of course. That was what I was going for when I left Konoha, actually." mutters Sasuke to himself.

"You had no idea she was in love with you?"

"Every girl around me was like that. What was I supposed to think? She was just..."

"Annoying." Naruto supplied, looking a little less amused then.

"Yes."

"Yeah, Sasuke. You are the world's number one dick."

Sasuke doesn't say anything. Naruto gets up after a while, silently staring at Sasuke with curious eyes. Sasuke looks away.

"Sasuke." says Naruto finally. Sasuke looks back at him. "Are you in love with me?"

He gives a baleful glare as his answer and snorts, looking at the sky for surely it must know how to take him out of this situation. He should get out of here. He should just leave.

He has an agenda. A revenge he needs to execute and this confrontation is making him feel itchy. He wants to fly away. He can't sit here any longer, but if he gets up right now to leave, Naruto will assume that Sasuke actually cares about this topic. He doesn't. It's just a coincidence that he's feeling discomfort right at this moment. He has done that before, anyway. He has fled from Naruto, albeit after kicking the shit out of him. But anyway, there was no point to this conversation. So what? Sakura had a crush on him, Naruto had a crush on her and Sasuke... Sasuke was just stuck in some kind-of weird love triangle he wants and wanted no part of.

He is so out of here. The urge to flee is so desperate and irritating that there is a buzzing beneath his skin.

"Sasuke?"

Sasuke snaps. "Look, I don't much care about this stupid love triangle, okay? It's all terribly ironic and stuff, I admit, but honestly, I don't-"

"How is it ironic?" Naruto interrupts.

Sasuke gulps as quietly as he can and looks down at the ground.

"How is it ironic, Sasuke?" Naruto's tone is stubborn, like he would never stop asking until he got answers.

"You know why." Sasuke replies, trying to think of a way out of this without looking like a coward.

"No. I don't. Not really."

Sasuke grits his teeth and decides to just hell with it. Naruto knows already, so who the hell cares?

"Because you liked Sakura, Sakura liked me, and apparently, I liked you." there is a lump in his throat when he finishes and he has opened his mouth to say something, but it just stays there like that lump. Unable to cooperate, unable to control.

"I liked you too, you know." says Naruto with his blue, blue eyes gazing at Sasuke gently, innocently. "So, it isn't exactly ironic. Sakura's come to like me too. She cares a great deal about me, actually. Even went as far as to confess she loved me so, I could stop chasing after you. I think she's even gotten over you a bit since, she was adamant on killing you that one time. We've all changed. We've all developed new... feelings."

Sasuke lifts his mouth in a bitter smile. "I've become more of a monster than I already was, how is that new?"

Naruto's eyes sharpen at that and he moves before Sasuke can react. gripping his shoulders tightly. "You're not a monster."

"I am." He retorts harshly.

Naruto makes a growling sound under his breath before he shoves Sasuke onto the ground and sits over him. "You are not a monster!"

"SHUT UP, NARUTO. YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING."

"I KNOW ABOUT MONSTERS MORE THAN YOU DO."

"SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP!"

"YOU DIDN'T WANT ME DEAD. YOU CRIED, SASUKE. YOU CRIED SO HARD EVEN WHEN I WAS MOSTLY UNCONSCIOUS I COULD HEAR YOU. AND IT'S PROBABLY BECAUSE OF YOUR SCREAMING THAT I ACTUALLY WOKE UP AT ALL SO, STOP IT. STOP SAYING THAT."

"WHAT? THAT I'M A MONSTER AND I DESERVE THE HIGHEST PUNISHMENT THEY COULD GIVE ME?"

"THEY WON'T!"

"Oh, yes. They will, Naruto. Oh and maybe, they'll give me a death sentence. Wouldn't you like that?"

"NO, SASUKE. NO." by then, Naruto is shouting at his face. Then, his own face twists up in pain as he pauses and says weakly: "I wouldn't like that at all."

"It's probably for the best. I'll die and you'll get your long-last crush after all." Sasuke says all this despondently, feeling a heaviness in his chest that just wouldn't go away.

Naruto takes a sharp breath in before he laughs like he's crying. "Sasuke, you're the most oblivious person to ever be clever and smart."

Sasuke scowls despite himself. "Oblivious? Me?"

"Yes, you." Naruto says with a sad smile that widens a little after a while. "You don't even know, do you? All those years that you were missing, that I kept chasing you. Heck, Sakura was ready to give up on you. I fucking well didn't know what else to do. You were threatening and are still threatening the very place I was born and have loved ever since. I... I still kept chasing and chasing after you. Nobody got to fight you, but me. Mine, mine, mine. Didn't you think for one moment that it was more than just that small thing you said about us being friends?"

"When I asked you-" Sasuke says, feeling annoyed. "I asked you why you did that and you told me-"

"I know what I said."

"So what? You lied to me?"

"No. I didn't think it was more than that, back then."

"Back then?" sputters Sasuke. "It's only been a month, Naruto!"

"Yeah. I know."

"Are you stupid or something?"

"Yeah, I guess I am."

Sasuke stares at him for a moment before he sighs. "So what? You love me or something? Because you know, this will never work out either."

"Why not?" Naruto asked, tilting his head. "We just kissed."

"We did more than that." Sasuke adds.

"Yeah, so, why can't this work out?"

"I'm going to be incarcerated. That's why, Naruto." Sasuke says, tired of this already. "You think anyone in this village would let me get away with everything I've done with just a slap on the wrist. There'll be a discussion and those disgusting old advisors of yours will say: oh yes, Uchiha Sasuke is a threat because you remember, Naruto? You remember what Madara told you?"

"They were one of the people who decided to eliminate your clan. Yes, I know." says Naruto forlornly. "They'll get what's coming for them, you know."

"How?"

"We'll tell Tsunade-"

"Do we have evidence against them? Do we?"

Naruto winces and looks away. "No. I don't think so. But maybe, we do. I don't know, I guess."

Sasuke scoffs. "Lot good bringing me back to Konoha will do. I'd rather die than actually come face-to-face with those two disgusting pieces of shit and not even raise a sword against them."

Naruto gives a sound sigh before he moves away, standing up. "I guess, it's not yet time for you to return to Konoha." he looks miserable as he says it.

"And still, here I am, willing for you to take me any way you can." Sasuke says, gesturing at his spread legs as he lies there, smiling.

Naruto smiles a little. "I want to take you in so many ways, Sasuke. I want to get inside you, to feel you, to hold you so tight you'll bleed-"

"Hmm. Sounds tempting." Sasuke murmurs.

"It's also, really really dangerous."

"That, it is." Sasuke solemnly agrees.

"You don't understand." Naruto says, making Sasuke look up. What he finds looking at is an unbelievably torn-up expression; Naruto is always too free with his emotions. One of the reasons why Sasuke is so fascinated by him. "I want you with every fiber of my being now that I know how you feel like, how you taste like, how- god, I want you so much, Sasuke. And I know that if we went farther and farther than before, I'll die if I have to be separated from you."

"We will be. Separated."

"Yes. I wish I could just go rogue and run away with you, but I can't. I have a responsibility for my people and the war is still on. And I..."

"I know. I get it, Naruto. It's dangerous to play at this. I get it." Sasuke says, getting up finally to brush away the dirt from his body and torn-up pants. "I'll see you later then."

"Oh yes. Definitely." Naruto says in a rush before gathering Sasuke in his arm and kissing him again. "Mmm. I love your lips." He kisses and licks at said-lips lovingly, caressing them over and over like a man who just didn't know how to let go.

Sasuke steps away, letting Naruto freeze and realize before Sasuke faces away from him.

"Sasuke." calls his stupid moron.

"Hm?" He asks, not turning around or looking in that direction. He may have more self-control than Naruto, but when it came to this, he wasn't much better either.

"I love you, you cold-hearted bastard."

Sasuke let a smile graze his lips as he makes the proper hand-seals for transportation. For a second he waits to make the last hand-seal and then, he says:

"You too, moron."

He leaves right after that,


End file.
